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To Mr Kok (urgent)


Reform Club Bar

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Mr Kok, the Reform society has with rising anxiety seen your posts in this forum in which you invite non-members to the bar at our Pall Mall location. So far we have allowed them access as they seemed to be rowdy and thirsty (and because they caused a massive ruckus in the lobby).  However, several of these so called 'pilots' have passed out in the bar and had to be escorted out the back entrance, others have caused damage to the furniture and some simply sit in a corner with a million mile stare in their eyes scaring other visitors.

 

This can not go on. Of course we have added all the bar tabs to your account and you own the society now around 7000 pounds. we like to see this debt settled before the Christmas closure.  We also have revoked your option to receive guests in the Society.  Please do not invite any more non members onto our premises.

 

The boardmembers are seriously upset by this whole affair and at the quarterly meeting will reconsider your membership. Please come and see me in the next 48 hours to pay your bill.

 

Lord Dicky
Bar President, MP

 

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  • Aerosoft

Dicky old chum, why so formal, couldn't you have picked up the telephone and called me?

 

I do understand the point of view of the Board and how the calm of the Club is temporarily affected. But keep in mind that a bet made in the same bar was officially sanctioned by the Reform Club. I also would like you to recall Christmas 2006 (though you probably still do not recall much of that 36 hour period). I believe I did you a great favor at that time by convincing the Times that the whole affair was a non-issue and there was no life stock of any kind in our club. Gossip from certain persons who applied but were rejected, humbug etc. Quid pro quo, Dicky, quid pro quo.

 

I have just called my banker and a cheque for 15.000 pounds will be delivered to your office this before afternoon drinks. It is rather unbecoming of the Bar President to mention money, I believe it has never happened in our history. Even viscount Black who managed to drink the bar empty on several occasions was never asked to settle his bill and was expected to do that of his own accord. As you remember it was me who got it sorted out with his lovely daughter after he moved on to the big club above us. If you would be so kind to apologize for this I believe we can move on. I do expect you to be my bridge partner in the Jan 2nd games.

 

 

 

 

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Sorry Mathijs,

 

Part of this unhappy discussion is probably my fault!   After many rounds of the bar's best, Lord Dickey asked Sue Ling to give him a lap dance,  Because Mae Ling was much closer to Lord Dicky in age, I insisted Mae Ling perform in her stead! 

 

It's amazing what a change of attitude facing someone with a different first name can make in certain situations!! :rolleyes:

 

Now that the rally is over both Sue Ling and Mae Ling have both gone back to their day jobs.  So it's probably too late for Sue to make amends. However, If there is an interesting event around this time of the year in 2018 I'll try my best to convince Sue Ling to attend again.

 

Rupert 

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Good g-d Rupert!

Are you not aware that Lord Dicky has a dicky ticker?

The passage of any part  of the Ling ladies anatomy within 2 feet of his nethers would invite a massive cardiac event, the outcome of which could only benefit the Lawyers who Lady Dicky, would, no doubt, engage to sue the ass off anyone within 5 miles of the deceased Lord Dicky.

I trust the New Year will find you healthy & more aware of Lord Dicky's nuances.:rolleyes:

Windswept

 

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40 minutes ago, Windswept said:

Good g-d Rupert!

Are you not aware that Lord Dicky has a dicky ticker?

The passage of any part  of the Ling ladies anatomy within 2 feet of his nethers would invite a massive cardiac event, the outcome of which could only benefit the Lawyers who Lady Dicky, would, no doubt, engage to sue the ass off anyone within 5 miles of the deceased Lord Dicky.

I trust the New Year will find you healthy & more aware of Lord Dicky's nuances.:rolleyes:

Windswept

 

Thanks for the update Windswept!

 

I feel so much better knowing I made the right call!  Apparently Mae Ling's lap dance didn't cause the type of reaction you fear!  Having said that, if instead Sue Ling had done her dance, Lord Dicky would probably not still be among the living!! ;)

 

Rupert

 

BTW:  If the twins come back to town, I'd like to meet them. In the cause of improving foreign relations of course.

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Ah Rupert!

Perchance to dream!

Unfortunately old chap, the twins are a remarkable pair, either of whom could chew you up into little pieces in a thrice.

Svetlana has a Mixed Martial Arts background to go with her PhD in Mechanical Engineering, Degree in Divinity and an interest in space travel.

Sylvania is a Taekwondo expert, has a PhD in  Environmental Studies & is a chess champion as well as expert hacker.

For a hobby she designs & operates camera equipped miniature drones.

There is probably one hovering over your house at the moment.

I advise you to close the curtains!

You won't spot it, its smaller than a hummingbird

Renaissance women, the pair.

I can arrange an introduction.

Good luck:D

 

Windswept

 

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2 hours ago, Mathijs Kok said:

And that why we are now all banned. Thanks!

 

Yes Mathijs, you're probably right!  Not knowing Lord Dickey well, I'll leave it up to you to decide if keeping him alive is worth the loss of access to a good Boozer?:huh:

 

Rupert

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Windswept,

 

Upon further consideration I think I'll rescind my request for introductions to the twins!:o

 

However the drone issue isn't a concern here.  In my part of Kentucky we are world renowned for shooting down drones!  Whether they are owned by governments, private parties, or even the shooter, drones get shot down around here on a regular basis.  The most common response when a shooter is asked why he/she shot a drone or come to think of it a cat, a dog, a cow, a pickup truck, a house, etc. is, "I thought it was a deer." :rolleyes:

 

Rupert

 

 

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Dear dear!   I wake up under a table at the 'Club and this is what I am greeted with..... Well I never!  Does this mean we shall be seeking alternative arrangements for the next epic Aerosoft adventure, or will level-heads prevail, and all will be right with the world once more?

 

Sadly, it appears that I may have slept through all the discussion of twins and lap dances... all the luck!

 

Right, now I need to go find the skipper of HMNZS Canterbury and see if I can blag a ride home... Last time I saw the good Commander he was in a deep and meaningful discussion with a well dressed chap wearing a monocle!

 

SeanG

p.s. Pass the aspirin, there's a good chap!

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5 hours ago, SeanG said:

Dear dear!   I wake up under a table at the 'Club and this is what I am greeted with..... Well I never!  Does this mean we shall be seeking alternative arrangements for the next epic Aerosoft adventure, or will level-heads prevail, and all will be right with the world once more?

 

Sadly, it appears that I may have slept through all the discussion of twins and lap dances... all the luck!

 

Right, now I need to go find the skipper of HMNZS Canterbury and see if I can blag a ride home... Last time I saw the good Commander he was in a deep and meaningful discussion with a well dressed chap wearing a monocle!

 

SeanG

p.s. Pass the aspirin, there's a good chap!

 

 

Good luck with that!!  Poirot and I have shared more than one bottle of vintage port.  Other than the proper grooming of his mustache, there isn't a whole lot which interests Hericule! Unless of course you just killed someone or were killed by someone else!

 

Rupert

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